Rush-Jobs

This email made me laugh. Note the time stamp:

 

Feeling Almost Human

So, as the pressure begins to lighten up a little as classes finish and I get things done, I’m beginning to feel almost human again. And that is fantastic. I have hope that I’m going to make a full recovery.

Free Coffee

Free coffee all over campus, all week!
AND NO TEACHING!!!!!

What more is there to be grateful for?

Self-indulgence

Since I finished one paper and have a little breathing room before the next one is due, I’ve allowed myself to be a little self-indulgelathe last couple of days. I’ve watched things on tv, I’ve baked some things, I madE tacos, I took a nap, I slept ridiculously late today. After a long, long semester of rigid self-discIpline, it feels really good to just let things go a little. 

The Best Video Ever

Oh man! This guy gets what the Glad Game is about! This is what I’m grateful for today–been saving it for an extra special post :

 

Dancing With an iPod in Public, Holiday Edition

Ludacris

I’m at the Dean’s office playing Ludacris and scanning forms. It is infinitely less heady and more productive than my paper-writing sessions. It’s so nice to come in and work on little projects and earn my pocket money. What a nice end to my Friday

 

Looking forward to getting my Chibka paper done and my Postcol working thesis hashed out this weekend! Come on, Kate!!!!!

Rebounding

I’m not going to lie–yesterday stunk like a skunk. The wheels came off as I was desperately trying to finish a paper that was due, and I turned it in knowing that it wasn’t anywhere near my best work. Most of my body hurt from the anxiety and stress of trying to get it finished, and I thought it was distinctly possible that I was going to spend the whole evening crying.

But even in the middle of all that, there were a few things that I knew and kept telling myself.

1. I don’t get to be a superhero. I don’t get to be good at everything. I know that I prioritized getting my PhD applications together, and I don’t regret that because in the long run that’s more important. I remember making a C on a major biology project my freshman year in high school. That was the year that I got Tigger for Christmas, and I was heart and soul invested in training that horse. My teacher (also my best friend’s dad) stuck a post-it on my project that said, “Biology project–72. Horse training–98. You did what was more important.” (At least, it was something very like that.) It was the only time I made a bad grade and didn’t emotionally punish myself for it. I was disappointed, but Dan gave me permission to not be good at everything, and that allowed me to just let it go. I’ve been telling myself that this semester, I focused on what was more important, and that’s okay.
2. It’s actually really healthy for me to be forced to acknowledge and accept my limitations. That’s something that’s hard for a perfectionist to do, and I think that it’s good for me. When I knew that I wasn’t going to turn in a great paper yesterday, I kept trying to think of ways to give myself more time to make it better. I was looking for ways out. But somewhere deep down, I understood that I needed to just accept my work for what it was, turn it in, and move on. I understood that, hard as it was, I was being taught, grown, formed, shaped, refined. And I agreed to participate.
3. The biggest problem in my life right now is that I’m most likely going to make a B on a paper. Um, think about that for a second, Shanna. And then make a move toward rational thoughts and behaviors.
4. This is a moment. And once it’s passed, I have virtually nothing staked in the grade I make on this paper. It won’t matter. Period.

So, in the end, I still don’t feel good about the paper I turned in. But I feel pretty good about the work I did on myself.

And then I ate brownies and watched Chuck and baked for my students and was generally silly. So, all in all, not a bad evening.

And, most of all, I woke up remembering that God’s mercies are new every morning.

Christmas Present

Yesterday I got Will’s Christmas present in the mail at the Dean’s office. It’s a digital photo frame. I took it home with me and dumped it on THE PILE in my room and began to study. Later, when Will came over, he walked in my room and stopped talking mid-sentence. I looked up from my work to see why he had stopped, and he was just staring at me with a goofy look. I couldn’t figure out what the look was for, then I glanced over and saw the photo frame sitting on top of THE PILE! Oh no! Hahahaha, absent-minded Kate. You dope! I guess he knows what his gift is now…ah well!

I’m 12 pages into the SFD of my Laurence Sterne paper. This guy is very difficult to write about, but I’m getting there.

At the moment, I am sitting in the Dean’s office and Teddy is watching some online ad that keeps singing “Let’s have a par-tay! Let’s have a par-tay!” LOL what the hell could be so interesting about this thing?!

Can’t wait for Zumba tonight with Kerri, Sarah and Randi. Shanna, I wish you were Zumba-ing too!!!!!
These are the things I am glad about today. Fin.

Laughter and some happy songs

So, I’ve been listening to songs from the new Muppet movie and going around the house singing them because it makes me laugh. And I’ve been listening to Flight of the Conchords songs because they make me laugh. And today I’ve been laughing at Kate’s new fascination with Michael Bolton. [Finals just takes you in weird places, man. You never know where you will end up when rational thought/behavior no longer applies.] Anyway, laughing makes me feel sane. And singing “Life’s a happy song / When there’s someone by your side to sing along” to my dog doesn’t make me feel pathetic. At all. [Really, though. Does that make me pathetic?]

Also, a particularly silly bout of freewriting might have saved my academic life today. Yeehaw!

Michael Bolton

Glorious locks, seductively unbuttoned shirts, fire, stallions, impassioned hand gestures…Michael Bolton: An obvious mascot for Finals 2011.